Page 928 - Groovy Dove, Part 5

1st Jul 2017, 6:00 AM in Intermission 10
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Groovy Dove, Part 5
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 1st Jul 2017, 6:00 AM edit delete
I worked my everloving butt off through June. Organizing a new tabletop podcast with over a dozen players, reviving an old fanfic, livestreaming every single day (sometimes multiple times per day)...

I'm going to try and take it a little bit easier in July.

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: February 20th.



ANW 1st Jul 2017, 6:08 AM edit delete reply
I have just 3 words.
Business owner stories.
Digo 1st Jul 2017, 6:43 AM edit delete reply
In one d&d campaign the PCs bought a tavern and revitalized it into a legit business for first levels to get their start. ;)
Blitz 1st Jul 2017, 8:57 AM Muffins of death edit delete reply
A friend of mine managed to kill a cavern full of drow by getting them hooked on strawberry muffins. Then, after they were all good customers, he revealed a new flavor blueberry(with absoleth poison.) while the drow were all dying, his party poured boiling oil into the cave.
Specter 1st Jul 2017, 10:03 AM edit delete reply
A party member of mine (druid) once had a little farm and trade business going, basically making and selling stuff from renewable resources. His business what out in the woods somewhere making a profit, and some of the revenue that didn't pay the workers or to the business itself for maintenance or renovations was sent directly to our business owner.

For a point of reference, our characters have been to the place before and made friends from the employees; some kids (Paint & Sketch) trying to keep their grandparent's medicine going,a single mom (Star Weaver) trying to get enough to put her kid (Star Bright) through school, a retired Wonderbolt (Dive Bomb) just trying to forget the war, you get the picture. It was twenty-some-odd workers who needed the money to survive (and every member from the team became friends, or better, with them).

So after completing another quest we decided to go to the shop relax. Apparently while we were gone a noble saw the land and thought he could turn it all into another village for him to tax. He sent some surveyors to inspect the woods for any possible threats to the village, and inevitably found the shop. The noble was told about it and decided it must have been safe because their is an 'illegal shop out there making money from contraband goods'.

Suffice to say, we were not happy when we got to the shop and there was an army of lawyers waiting for us. The building was closed/half destroyed, employees were gone, and there was lawsuit against our druid. While our druid was trying to figure out what's happening, the rest of us tried to get in contact with the employees. Turns out that either they went to jail, or an orphanage. The dependents of the employees were not doing well either; Star Bright was practically catatonic since her mom hasn't come back home, Paint and Sketch's grandparent developed heart troubles due to their absence, that kind of stuff.

Long story short, we saw there was so much bad going around that some of us broke (a little more then others). Our druid was ok, they actually found a way to beat the noble using the law, us on the other hoof not so much. Rogue, barbarian, cleric, and I went and busted everyone out of jail/the orphanage. Our anti-paladin of chaos, alchemist, and sorcerer went a bit further, and completely destroyed everything the noble had built up, and half of their house.

Druid won the lawsuit (and the counter), all of our friends are free, and the noble lost mostly everything (and our three resident wrecking crew spent our relaxation time doing community service).
Winged Cat 1st Jul 2017, 11:06 AM edit delete reply
Winged Cat
I could give so many from RL, but I'll keep this comment to RPG ones. :P

Not too long ago, I had a campaign where making enough money to buy the freedom of the family of one of the PCs (not quite an ex-slave, but implied indentured labor for the whole family) was the main plot. The party was a trade caravan, venturing from town to town, doing good deeds as they bought and sold, even introducing the concept of trading to a nomadic tribe so they would stop worrying the nearby town and do business with them instead. The campaign went on hiatus just as the party finally plunked down enough money and the family reunion was about to commence.

Then there was a trading adventure in Age of Rebellion. The party - a Rebel squadron - was sent to infiltrate an Imperial city by pretending to be merchants. We figured, let's not just pretend: do some research, find out what's in demand at that city, and bring it in quantity. AoR's PC economics seem to assume that PCs will mostly only sell loot, and so (before modifiers) can sell things for 25-75 percent of list price. Obviously, buying at list price then selling for less does not a credible merchant make. The ensuing conversation about modifiers and prices got to the point that we were reminded that, in that campaign, SW meant Star Wars rather than Spice and Wolf.
kgy121 1st Jul 2017, 10:29 PM edit delete reply
Working late night at a convention, three of us had a free-form game, in the vein of 'your actions are going to determine what class you are'. Both of us ended up as rogues, as we rolled up into the tavern and started to run a con.

After fleeing from that profitable venture before the townfolk caught on, we found a mining operation that was generating alchemical bases as a waste product. Next town over, we commissioned some barrels, loaded up, and scammed the miner into loading up the slag for us so we could sell it in town 'for environmental protection'.

Didn't do one bit of plot, just set up a business in that game.
Sir william 2nd Jul 2017, 8:36 AM Kitsune bartender edit delete reply
I had a Kitsune bartender (6th level bard) who owned a bar (and then later a few farms and meaderies and vineyards and an alchemy shop)

He used diluted charm potions into the booze and then acted as mr nonthreatening
Sir william 2nd Jul 2017, 8:39 AM Kitsune bartender edit delete reply
I had a Kitsune bartender (6th level bard) who owned a bar (and then later a few farms and meaderies and vineyards and an alchemy shop)

He used diluted charm potions into the booze and then acted as mr nonthreatening bartender whom everyone told their secrets to

He also had a magic item that produced infinite sake which he used to give guards free drinks and have them look the other way when needed

He also had a snake familiar which he milked the poison out of and added to stronger drinks that people he wanted to incapacitate ordered

The poison was rarely lethal but occasionally was, and was more or less untraceable because booze already registered positive for detect poison spells
ionotter 2nd Jul 2017, 8:55 AM Not A Business Owner, But... edit delete reply
My Nun (monk) character wound up joining a very famous band. They needed a backup singer, and her partner fit the bill perfectly. Her original intention was to serve as a masseuse and healer for the band members, since they really loved to party, and were getting worn out.

Instead, the band owner gave her the job of band manager.

All of a sudden, money started flowing in, more than it had been flowing out. The tedious paperwork tasks got contracted out to the Messenger's Guild. Taxes, tariffs, duties, fees and visas were all handled professionally, in advance. Now we never had to pay bribes for inter-city travel!

The guild also got contracted for printing posters, flyers, ticket sales and the newest and most popular of products, silk-screened, 5-color shirts at prices even your average peasant could afford!

The stevedores got equipment upgrades. She hired a team of carpenters and blacksmiths to build packing crates specifically designed to be opened and closed hundreds of times, but able to be locked securely. No more luggage being "broken in transit"! And best of all, the carpenter and blacksmith guilds all got their marks placed on the equipment, making it clear who built it. For which they gave us a discount on construction price, and a handsome price on a repair and maintenance contract!

The support crew got cleaned up a lot. Thieves were laid off with a month's pay, so no bad feelings. Good people got hired to replace them, and everyone got uniforms in the band colors, along with a pay increase, retirement accounts and investment assistance services from the Messenger's Guild.

Traveling between gigs became a welcome time to rest up and enjoy the road, rather than a nightmare of breakdowns, thefts and shakedowns.

With the walking billboards of peasants wearing band shirts, happy stevedores and stage crew, and equipment all in good repair, the shows got better than ever. Ticket sales soared. Venues started courting us, rather than us courting them.

All good, right?

1. Slavery is common in the game world. On it's way out, granted, but still common.

2. Everyone in the band hates slavery and slavers in particular.

3. The owner and lead singer of the band is neutral good, with strong chaotic tendencies. Think Sonny Bono, only with more wizard and illusionist spells, and far less desire to work within the system.

Sister Belshara's days are spent figuring out how to get from point A to point B without getting arrested for inciting the populace to riot (musically), plotting insurrection (entering the city), disrupting commerce (busting slave auctions by outbidding everyone else), theft of property (setting the purchased slaves free), and a whole host of other charges.
Kira 3rd Jul 2017, 4:05 PM edit delete reply
was the band named Wild Stallionz? or perhaps The Band With Rocks In?
Kaze Koichi 3rd Jul 2017, 11:44 PM edit delete reply
Wait, how exactly are stealing property if you BUYING slaves? You PAID money for them. They are YOURS to do whatever you want.
WandereringPony 2nd Jul 2017, 9:32 PM I've actually done it in real life... edit delete reply
I LARP. One of my characters ran an in-game bar for a few years and was trusted to bartend the place when duties made it impossible to do all the work full-time as well.

Made a modest real-life profit and the tips (adventurers, especially thirsty/hungry nobles are pretty good tippers!) were usually more than enough to pay off my upkeep costs every month and a bit of silver besides.
CrowMagnon 1st Jul 2017, 7:50 AM edit delete reply
So which of these ponies proposes the Jade Vagina Eggs? XD
Kereea 1st Jul 2017, 2:39 PM edit delete reply
Oh god never remind me about those things existing....
CocoaNut 1st Jul 2017, 9:52 AM edit delete reply
The solution is drugs.

The solution is always drugs.
you know that guy 2nd Jul 2017, 8:44 PM edit delete reply
The source is a comic book based on a kids cartoon. I assume the mention of recreational drugs isn't permitted, and I am seriously wondering what the actual plot is if it doesn't involve drugs.
Destrustor 3rd Jul 2017, 7:32 AM edit delete reply
New-age, all-organic, naturopathic beauty products, of course!

At least, that's my guess considering Rarity's involved.
Classic Steve 1st Jul 2017, 12:13 PM edit delete reply
Wow, an R. Crumb reference.
ionotter 2nd Jul 2017, 9:03 AM edit delete reply
Seriously. I'm seeing R. Crumb and Gilbert Shelton, of The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers fame.
Ross Van Loan 2nd Jul 2017, 3:08 PM Palladium Sphinx Air edit delete reply
I'm currently playing in a Weird World War 2 game in which the PCs are a Canadian troubleshooter group tasked with combating the fiendish occult super soldier programs of the Axis powers. As the characters began amassing treasures--they've been falling over Indiana Jones treasure troves of an ancient Nordic Atlantean race--they've looked to building an empire away from the prying eyes of the Dominion of Canada ; thus the formation of an air freight company run out of Toronto. The base of operations is Casa Loma which was actually open for purchase at that time (1940). The whole place is done up in a mysterious Eastern air, and the staff are retired Gurkah British army regulars overseen by an ex-jewel thief gentleman who looks remarkably like David Niven.

The others see it as a viable business venture, but my silver tongued big game hunter, author, and face-man of the team, Chase Wayward, sees it as a springboard for his ultimate undying Achilles fame.
Lady Sandry 3rd Jul 2017, 5:38 PM Way of the Wicked Cultured edit delete reply
My gaming group was once playing Way of the Wicked, and my character was a swashbuckler with serious ranks in Profession (cook), and a 'moral code' that mostly revolved around kitchen-related things (the better-kept your kitchen and the higher quality your food, the more likely he was to treat you well. Bad or unsanitary cooks were summarily slaughtered, no exceptions). All three of our characters were asked to crate businesses as 'cover' for living in the good-aligned city not far from our evil lair. Shunk (kobold ninja) wore a hat of disguise to pretend to be a halfling, and opened a locksmithing shop. He rolled so high on skill checks that his locks were better than anything else in the city... and then he sold his locks to everyone, and kept the skeleton key for himself, so he could rob everyone blind whenever he wanted, making a profit from both sides. The spellcaster opened a very basic magic-item shop... which he stocked with the gear of the adventurers who attempted to invade out evil lair and died. My swashbuckler? Opened a restaurant, so he could collect gossip and such while earning money, hopefully keeping us ahead of the game, information-wise. In the process, managed to become so successful that 'everyone who was anyone' would visit, a dimension-hopping sorcerer (crossing over from another campaign) came there for a date and gave us access to ridiculously high-value spell components as thanks, and I could single-handedly fund continent-wide war operations.
Shad 3rd Jul 2017, 10:49 PM edit delete reply
I've considered making money as a mage in some setting by selling "discrete" alteration magic of a sensitive nature (penis enlargement, breast enlargement, that kind of stuff)
Shad 3rd Jul 2017, 10:49 PM edit delete reply
I've considered making money as a mage in some setting by selling "discrete" alteration magic of a sensitive nature (penis enlargement, breast enlargement, that kind of stuff)