Page 940 - Best Plight Ever

29th Jul 2017, 6:00 AM in The Best Night Ever, Part 1
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Best Plight Ever
Average Rating: 5 (1 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 29th Jul 2017, 6:00 AM edit delete
Six years as of yesterday.

It was incredible when it was half a decade, and now we're past that.

You know what, though? I tend to live in the present moment, and at this moment in my life right now, my thoughts aren't "Wow, what an accomplishment" but "I've got plenty more work to do."

Making all this internet content, even if a lot of it is fan-content, is the biggest job in my life right now. That's why your support on the Patreon and the encouragement from day to day is so important. I literally couldn't do any of this without you guys.

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: January 27th, 2023.



ANW 29th Jul 2017, 6:02 AM edit delete reply
These girls are smarter than the original crew.
Magnaliscious 29th Jul 2017, 7:38 AM edit delete reply
Well it's easier to think when you're not the one going to the gala.
Winged Cat 29th Jul 2017, 11:09 AM edit delete reply
Winged Cat
They're also more forewarned about what's likely to happen.
The Old One 30th Jul 2017, 6:53 AM edit delete reply
The original crew was going to "the" party in equestrian society. They had reasonable expectations, even if the reality fell flat.

This crew is playing ocean's eleven at somebody else's shindig. They already know something is gonna go wrong
ANW 29th Jul 2017, 6:10 AM edit delete reply
Today is the start of the Class Stories.
Today is the original story tellers.
The bards.
Gives us stories of why they are the class of the year.
pronceofegyptt 29th Jul 2017, 7:10 AM edit delete reply
Ok, this particular bit of ridiculousness came during a campaign of ridiculousness. For some reason, the party had two bards: myself, and one other person. We were on a mission in the realm of the Fey to find a child that was replaced by the changeling. Three paths lied before us: one to a cottage, one to a castle, and one to a giant seahorse. The GM had intended for us to pick one path, but I suggested that we had six party members, so we could just take all three paths.

The other bard and his NPC Eldrich Knight girlfriend took the path to the cottage. In that cottage was an old fey and a male siren. It was they that had taken the child. The bard rolled diplomacy to convince them to let the child go. He succeeded.

Now, I guess he never used his diplomacy role before, because he was rather surprised that it was so easy. So he rolled diplomacy again to see if he could stay with the fey for dinner. He succeeded. He then took a look at the books the fey had on the bookshelf and rolled diplomacy to see if he could have them. He succeeded again. He then rolled several more diplomacy rolls to try and get the elderly fey and her Siren boyfriend to give up their whole cottage. He succeeds all of the roles. His NPC girlfriend never noticed a thing.

He now owns a cottage in the Fey realm and his character's alignment has been changed to neutral evil.
Specter 29th Jul 2017, 10:32 AM edit delete reply
Perform: Poetic Orator

When we met our friend there were misgivings about her evil ways.
She left us in her boutique always confused and surrounded in a haze.
She was a tailor and member of an organization known as the thieves guild.
As of now they have been blacklisted by her own being left somewhat chilled.

Left in her darkest hour we could not let our friend and ally down.
We have decided to partake in a mission far above with the crown.
Together we march for the capital ready to face the greatest challenge ever.
They must be seen a graceful nobility meaning we will have to be very clever.

We have fought together for far too long so I question how I cannot trust her.
She may be evil (or not now) but has been there without the need of a spur.
Providing the right words and getting us a better spot was her own personal trend.
But her power goes beyond that, and she shows it too, as she always is a good friend.

We travel with others too, such as the well read unicorn and her companion (a baby dragon).
An apple tracker provides a good mark while a pink bard sings out her heart (from my wagon).
Then our rainbow friend, treasure seeking (strong to boot) and druid over there... please don't cry.
I stand amongst these heroes ready to fight so please go ahead and charge because I'll pay to see you try.

For now however we prepare for a harder fight, up at the capital where the princess stays.
We will fight opponents much smarter then myself, so much so I might hold up only while set ablaze.
Tonight will be the best night ever as we figure out how to make our friend of noble blood.
This of course couldn't have been possible without the aid and ire of our Dungeon Master, Newbiespud.

(I have no idea how long this took, but I'm happy regardless.)
Winged Cat 29th Jul 2017, 11:07 AM edit delete reply
Winged Cat
asdf 29th Jul 2017, 11:43 AM edit delete reply
Flavorfully, bards can be just about anyone you want who's good with people. You can have your good ol' spooney bard, you can be edgy, even have a bard who puts on a straight face and masterminds the entire revolution.

Mechanically, you can cheese some serious power out of them.

In a 3.5 game I was just in, our bard was giving his performance to anyone within 4 miles for +8 to hit and +8d6 +8 to damage. He more or less would solve any large scale battle by making his side more or less one shot the enemy soldiers. Small scale battles still got out of hand when we had something around 18 attacks in a round that rarely missed.

In a pathfinder game, I ran a bard multiclassed into an empiricist investigator. She had turned almost every relevant skill, notably all the interpersonal ones and perception, into int based skills with the empiricist and traits, then used a bardic masterpiece to use a bluff check in place of any int check, and then versatile performance to use perform (act) in place of a bluff check. This gave her a bonus of +40 to nearly every skill check at level 10. Highlights were finding the invisible witch by beating her boosted stealth check with a perception check, always succeeding on every knowledge and spellcraft check, and single handedly convincing the investigating enemy generals that the forest our base was in was too haunted to enter.
Lalli-is-Best 29th Jul 2017, 8:48 PM edit delete reply
That's really impressive, but probably kind of annoying. Unless she purposely tried not to hog the spotlight.
Lalli-is-Best 29th Jul 2017, 8:48 PM edit delete reply
That's really impressive, but probably kind of annoying. Unless she purposely tried not to hog the spotlight.
Cliff Snowpeak 29th Jul 2017, 10:59 PM edit delete reply
Every group I've ever played in has had a fondness for bards, so I have several bard stories.

The first is Alex the bard.

This was most of ours' first time playing D&D, and for those who have never played it, the 3.5 bard is a very hard class to play well. Alex's player really didn't know what he was doing, but he made up for it with some really crazy ideas.

His crowning moment was at the start of a boss fight vs a white dragon. Alex had spent most of the dungeon doing little more than spamming his Intimidate skill, and so, at the start of the fight, Alex declares "I intimidate the dragon with my fungus suit!"

See, a few rooms earlier, Alex had decided to use the skill points he'd put into taxidermy to make a costume out of a shrieker fungus we had fought. So, there he was, trying to scare a dragon from the insides of a giant mushroom.

The GM tells him to roll Intimidate, and Alex gets a nat 20 on the dice. Now, our DM did not count nat 20's or nat 1's as automatic successes and failures; they were treated as effective +30's and -10's. So, he rolls the dragon's Will save to resist the intimidation, only needing a 2 or higher to resist.

He rolls behind his screen, pauses, and sighs as he slowly facepalms. "The dragon rolled a nat 1," he says. "It is so horrified by your fungus suit that he is frozen in shock. Everyone gets an extra attack."

The table goes crazy as we all lay into the dragon, and none of us ever again gave our bard any guff for his weird ideas.
Cliff Snowpeak 29th Jul 2017, 11:15 PM edit delete reply
Next is Dane the Diplomancer.

Set on a dangerous, jungle-y continent, our party were amongst a band of colonists, seeking a new life in a new land. The jungle that surrounded our new home was filled not just with dangerous animals, but also all manner of undead. And in this land of death, Dane the bard decided to maximize his diplomacy skill.

Now, Dane's player had years of experience, and so he was always aware of how much power lay in that skill. He never used it to steal the spotlight, most often using his silver tongue to distract enemies will the rest of us set for an ambush. However, he did manage to throw a number of verbal monkey wrenches into our DMs plans.

For starters, he gave a rousing speech to an entire tribe of kobolds and convinced them to turn on their shaman, who treated them as easily expendable meat shields.

Another time, he tricked a band of goblins to smoke death-weed which (as the name implies) was imbued with a particularly toxic poison.

*His* crowning moment occurred when we were caught in the undead-infested jungle after dark. He had all climbed into the trees to rest for the night. Unfortunately, *some* of the undead could fly, and the rest were making a lot of noise to get to us. None of us would have gotten any rest that night, had it not been for Dane's latest feat, "Requiem."

For those unfamiliar, Requiem allowed bards to use their bardic music against undead. And so, Dane stayed up the entire night on a single charge of bardic music. He played his guitar for the undead all night, keeping them quiet and a good distance from our resting place.

He aced all the Constitution checks he needed to stay awake all night, and as soon as the party's wizard got us back to the inn in the morning, Dane collapsed from exhaustion.
Cliff Snowpeak 29th Jul 2017, 11:37 PM edit delete reply
The last bard I'll talk about here was one of my own characters. A gnomish bard-fighter by the name of Coraldin or Cor for short.

Cor never had any major moments of badassery, but he was *amazing* at buffing his teammates. Once he met the requirements for it, Cor took levels in War Chanter which allowed him to buff everyone's health, damage dealt, trade out defense for attack power, and even give everyone the same Base Attack Bonus as the character who had the highest BAB.

He was such a fun character to roleplay; despite his small size, he was every bit the boisterous bruiser who loved a good fight, and he wielded a giant maul that was twice as tall as he was. He named it "Smash Mouth."

Smash Mouth had a couple fancy abilities in its own right. Its Harmonious property let him perform multiple bardic songs at once, while its Hideaway property let him keep it in a belt pouch when he wasn't fighting.

More than one unsuspecting enemy tried to get the drop on Cor, only to lose half their teeth as Smash Mouth suddenly grew to its full size and smashed in their faces.

Okay, enough bard stories for tonight. Looking forward to the next Class Stories.
aylatrigger 30th Jul 2017, 12:46 AM edit delete reply
Hmmm...I guess I have a few stories. I won't do them all though

First: Neutral campaign. Sandwiched between forces of Good and Evil, we somehow ran into the way-too-high-level-Anti-Paladin. I cast daze...and it worked. We ran away successfully.

Second: NPC in a very silly game/game world: an atropal bard.
For those of you who do not know, atropals are 'undead evil god fetuses'. They are stillborn gods that have turned into abominations of pure evil. They radiate evil, are always LE, are CR 30, and usually killed on sight by most gods.
So I made one that bumped its head upon being newly created, and ended up CG. Later he went on to become the hero of the land as a 1st level bard. ...Most of his hero abilities were just from a high CR. He sucked as a bard, so this may not be the best example on bards being awesome. His poetry might be able to compete with Vogons.
aylatrigger 30th Jul 2017, 12:47 AM edit delete reply
Anyway, despite being a CG and much loved hero, he still had the atropal traits. He always reads as evil to Detect Evil, and most gods who do not know of him (and some that do) want to kill him on sight.

Third (and longest): This is another partial example, as the character was originally poorly made, died, we stopped the campaign, I wrote up post-game stuff for their kind-of cohort...leading to the cohort becoming a god and bringing them back as an undead lich king bard. Bards make great lich kings.
Also, albino drow/bards actually work quite well. Albino drow are described a bit in 'Plot & Poison'. They look like normal elves, but still have same drow traits. Because they look so much like elves, they are trained from a young age to do what drow normally don't do...that is, infiltration. They are trained to blend in with the surface races and convince them to go to war with each other.
aylatrigger 30th Jul 2017, 12:49 AM edit delete reply
While bards are generally not seen in the normal drow magic users, amongst the albino drow there are usually more Charisma based focuses.
Also, being an albino drow is so useful, that it is pretty much instant noble-treatment, even for males. Pretty useful as most males get the short end of the stick and it is too cliche to have sexy drow females or abused drow males. And noble drow are higher ECL.
Anyway, Szin was one such bard. I only told the GM I was playing a drow, and the rest of the party was amused that we were all 'playing elves' despite not conferring about it.
...Then Szin's cohort stole the show. Chord was a Noble Monitor Lizard from the 3rd party book Noble Wild. Excellent 3rd party stuff which I am now banned from using. I am also banned from using any non small/medium characters now. The Noble Wild has this feat that lets you increase your size for a permanent negative level. Lizards and Raptors can take it infinite times.
aylatrigger 30th Jul 2017, 12:50 AM edit delete reply
Lizards can start taking it early, at 5th level as opposed to 10th. Monitor Lizards start larger and have a racial class that makes them larger (small -> medium). Chord's main class was 'Eldritch Godling' (which I am also now banned from...). Eldritch Godlings are casters that choose which ability score to cast with at 1st level...naturally I chose strength. They also can get a bunch of other abilities based off their casting ability. ...At some point, my friends decided Chord was my main character, and Szin was the cohort (but using Szin's charisma for Leadership). By the end the 10th level Chord was a Large lizard with 34 strength and casting, dodge, stealth, diplomacy, and dex to cmd all based off strength.
Anyway, she was very epic, and Szin who had been kind of pushed to the side died in our first battle. And then we stopped playing. But Chord was so OP that we decided she would have eventually become a goddess.
aylatrigger 30th Jul 2017, 12:51 AM edit delete reply
And of course she would have brought back her beloved master (she had been his slave, but he treated her well because you want to be on the good side of your OP lizard).
So when she became the goddess of water (and the Moon, Drow, Evil, Ice, Magic, Scalykind, Stealth, Strength, War...Eldritch Godlings can get domains as feats, and those count for godly domains), Szin became her high priest, the bardic lich king.
...While I can go on about how OP her god form is, I will now get back to the subject of how cool bards can get.
Bards make VERY good liches. Charisma/mind effects are cool for powerful monsters, and there is a feat to get back your beauty from life.
And the high priests for this world each had one minor artifact.
Basically, Charisma mod to create semi-clones, fragments of your personality with different classes and specs (but you are in a picture when they go around).
aylatrigger 30th Jul 2017, 12:52 AM edit delete reply
And as a 20th level Cha-focused character, Szin had at least 10. 10 20th level lich kings. I decided most of them formed a band. They put on a show for the public to build PR and revenue, switching music styles every year or so, and fighting those who interfere... While playing. There are many 3.5 instrument/weapons, including specs for a grand piano. (though this is a LE kingdom based on trade, so pretty much only heroes who do not want to collapse the economy fight them...and the world since it is now a water world due to Chord's followers paying in tithes of decanters of endless water triggered and turned upside down. LE water god shenanigans!)
Anyway, for the non-fluff epicness: there are many forms of bards. While the normal bard can be useful (like the daze character from before), I had chosen 'Song Filch', and 'Schooled Bard' for Szin, and many of his clones also had variations (Skald and normal bard archetypes).
aylatrigger 30th Jul 2017, 12:53 AM edit delete reply
Song Filches have more sneaky stuff, blending bard and rogue for a fitting mix. Schooled Bard changes bardic performances a bit to 5 different schools, of which Szin had Mesmerizing. ...It also basically has the performances available solely off ranks in a skill, making it so you could take it with another class, but most GMs would probably rule it a typo. Anyway, Schooled Bards are great for having fluff geared towards one of their schools, much like how bard archetypes are. (done)
Super_Big_Mac 30th Jul 2017, 11:38 AM edit delete reply
I've probably mentioned the first (and really, *only*) bard I've ever played, and that was my bard Simpleton. His Int was 8, his Wis and Cha were around 16, and his Str and Con were both decent as well.

He had the name "Simpleton" for a very simple reason: I'd never played before, and the DM had pretty much given me a bard with training wheels. That didn't stop some hilarious shenanigans happening, though, including the time I accidently seduced a Dragoness, and ended up with an egg that hatched into a singing dragon, that helped us out all the way up to the end of the campaign, where I rolled my first group of three Nat 20s in a row, and defeated the Big Bad (who had at one point been our mage/sorcerer) with a rock-n-roll ballad, and stopped my friends from fighting, while somehow exorcising the demon that had overpowered him.

The DM had laughed so hard at my three Nat 20s on a Perform: Music roll that it took him about 10 minutes to stop, though when he did, he linked Tenacious D's Tribute and said that, for the rest of time, that's pretty much how our group of adventurers would describe the finale. It was a feat my Bard just would never accomplish a second time.
Shiny Flareon 31st Jul 2017, 1:23 AM edit delete reply
I have two bards at the moment.

The first is a woman by the name of Lydia Evenwood, a human woman with insatiable wanderlust and a passion for anthropology. In her younger days, she was an adventurer herself, and one of her party was an absent minded gnome evocation wizard, prone to leaving his spellbook lying around where any enterprising student of gnomish could read it and gain its magical secrets. After the group broke up, Lydia decided she wasn't ready to settle down quite yet and kept traveling until she came across a band of nomadic orcs. She not only convinced them to let her travel with them for a time, but also fell in love (and was loved in return) by the chieftan's son, with whom she had another of my characters (the one she was created as backstory for).

She finally did settled down, mostly out of necessity to raise her half orc daughter, though she left the orcs before the child was born. Now, she's a relatively unassuming middle aged woman who teaches courses and gives lectures at the city's university. She is also capable of casting a wide array of very destructive spells should she ever need to defend herself or those around her, including (but absolutely not limited to) Fireball, Cone of Cold, Lightning Bolt, and Wall of Fire.

My second bard I made up as part of an...extremely heavily homebrewed 2nd ed game, where I "guest starred" for one session. Her name is Applebloom (yes, pony reference intentional), and she is a pixie archaeologist who's bardic talent was dramatic narration. She also was obsessed with shiny things, but I'm especially proud of a couple moments I had with her.

I should preface this by saying that the table was full of munchkins and dice cheaters, and the DM has been running this game for 20+ years and had a self admitted God complex.

We were exploring a cave under a mountain. I out rogued the rogue by not only translating some glyphs no one else could (literacy was a seperate skill), but also picked the lock by climbing inside of it. Later, when we came upon a room full of faceless obsidian statues, for once glorious moment this table of munchkins all, in character, shouted out in unison "GRAB THE PIXIE!" She later was trapped in a colapsing tunnel under the mountain when things inevitably went to hell and used Summon Monster to dig her way out.

Later, we were walking by a lake when we were ambushed by the peoples that lived in it. I was feantically looking over my spells as he was describing them, and just as he's about to call for initiative...


He stares at me blankly. "What?"

"I cast Friends."

Another blank stare. Then, slowly, "What does that spell do?"

Completely derailed the encounter and left him scrambling for the rest of the night as we were able to convince them that we didn't want to fight, just to talk to their leader and find out what was going on. Still my proudest momemt,
Digo Dragon 31st Jul 2017, 7:03 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
Pffft, just the opposite last session in my group. We needed to explain to the team wizards why taking an 8-year old child with us to a deadly dungeon is a bad idea. The bard went on a tirade about how dumb an idea it was, didn't let me get a word in to agree with her on the subject, and then complained that I didn't say anything.

Then it got worse, because I wanted to argue on the platform that an 8-year old kid is going to be dropped in one blow against the kind of challenges that we, a 7th level party, face in those dungeons. The kid knows a couple magic tricks, but at best he might be a 1st level sorcerer. I'd wager he has no more than 6 hit points.

But the bard... egads, the bard also argued that he's way to short to be an adventurer and is going to get lost in the crowds at the capital city we're visiting. I'm like, "Well good thing I didn't hire that halfling rogue earlier, or this argument would have gotten awkward real fast."
Jennifer 31st Jul 2017, 9:18 AM edit delete reply
The one bard I played was a half-orc. He had a low INT score and didn't even know he was a bard - he just had a talent for howling Orcish war chants and battlecries as he lunged into battle and got in everyone else's way, and largely unbeknownst to him this encouraged his companions. He didn't last long - being fairly large, he walked into a door lintel and dashed his brains out. The DM offered to let me take it back, but it felt like a fitting end to him so I let it ride. It was fun while it lasted!
Rastaba 29th Jul 2017, 6:11 AM edit delete reply
I am incredibly eager to see how horribly this is gonna go, especially given how mentally prepared they seem for just that eventuality.
Mykin 29th Jul 2017, 7:22 AM edit delete reply

Personally, I'd find it funny if everything goes wrong because the players adopted this mindset when the DM really was trying to just make this an awesome night to remember for them. But we'll see where this train-wreck takes us.
Kereea 29th Jul 2017, 8:06 AM edit delete reply
Agreed. Maybe the DM was going for a light session as a farewell to Rarity and it's going to go WAY off the rails!
Evilbob 1st Aug 2017, 12:50 PM edit delete reply
It's only funny because it's true.
Tempestfury 29th Jul 2017, 9:45 AM edit delete reply
Oh I really, REALLY hope Spud has the DM actually trying to GIVE the 6 an amazing party and celebration, only for their mindsets to ruin it completely.
Winged Cat 29th Jul 2017, 11:10 AM edit delete reply
Winged Cat
Nothing like giving the players what they want. And besides, the episode was about things going off the rails anyway, so NS has a lot of material to draw from.
Guest 29th Jul 2017, 10:18 AM edit delete reply
I love how widely they smile as they explain how much tonight is going to suck.
Winged Cat 29th Jul 2017, 11:08 AM edit delete reply
Winged Cat
"Grin and bear it". Besides, in this sort of situation, a smile is armor.
FanOfMostEverything 29th Jul 2017, 1:48 PM edit delete reply
Especially Applejack. Seriously, Panel 4 is an absolute treasure.

... Wow. Even I'm being condescending. :/
FanOfMostEverything 29th Jul 2017, 1:49 PM edit delete reply
And by Panel 4, I of course mean Panel 6. Derp.
Digo Dragon 31st Jul 2017, 6:54 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
Well, give credit to AJ for being genre savvy. :3
jdb1984 29th Jul 2017, 11:07 AM edit delete reply
It would be hilarious if Blueblood saw, and fell for, Twilight. And that is how she becomes a princess.
Dragonflight 29th Jul 2017, 1:48 PM edit delete reply
Ehh. Not really enthused on the tired idea that Blueblood makes someone a princess by marriage. In a girls-focus game, that would be *really* go over like a lead bomb, I think.

Far more likely is that Twilight is subtly directing traffic the whole time, and Celestia is paying attention. So no matter what happens, the princess develops her *own* ideas about who's going to be the next princess, even though it's going to take a while to iron out the details...
Winged Cat 29th Jul 2017, 11:19 AM edit delete reply
Winged Cat
Really ramping up that Patreon, eh? Sure, I'll chip in.
Zkyo 29th Jul 2017, 7:45 PM edit delete reply
We just finished a similar event in our group, though it was just a fancy dinner from a high ranking noble to thank us for our deeds. We had to mingle, not make fools of ourselves in front of religious figures, two of our group were escorted away because they didn't know how to fillet a minnow correctly for a was nerve wracking. I only made it through because I play an exceptionally smart gnome....who when the challenge was too high, knew to discreetly watch the people around him to know what to do.
Lalli-is-Best 29th Jul 2017, 8:53 PM edit delete reply
I did this to my group once when I was DMing. Forced them all to attend a ball. They had to study etiquette and tell me what they were going to wear, and tried to trip them up with social situations.
They all did really well, probably partially due to the fact that I'm not at all upperclass, so I didn't know HOW to trip them up.
myzkyti 30th Jul 2017, 8:58 PM thank you edit delete reply
just binged this entire. series. over the last two days, after learning about it from reddit on Friday. All I can say is thank you, newbiespud, for creating something wonderful. you clearly have "imposter syndrome," like a lot of talented people out there, but i just wanted to take a moment to say how wonderful what you've created here is.

you've taken what is already an amazing series and made something completely and entirely your own with it, and not only that, a wonderful community around it.

so thank you, from someone who sorely needed a distraction and something to cheer her up at this very moment in time.




"on second thought, let's not go there... 'tis a silly place."
Tatsurou 31st Jul 2017, 3:45 PM edit delete reply
You forgot "It's only a model."
Captain Snark 1st Aug 2017, 8:58 AM edit delete reply
Jennifer 31st Jul 2017, 9:14 AM edit delete reply
Welcome! Glad to have you with us, myskyti.
XandZero2 31st Jul 2017, 11:06 AM edit delete reply
Hey Spud,

I haven't posted a comment in a while, but I've been following the comics regularly. I've definitely continued to be entertained by what you do - so keep up the good work!

Congrats on your 6th year of this project.
BunBun299 1st Aug 2017, 11:28 PM edit delete reply
So, a story about a bard.

Long running campaign I'm involved in. The PCs are all from different dimensions. Last survivors of dead worlds. Pretty much any sort of character we can dream up is good, so long as they can be balanced with the rest of the party. So we couldn't make say, a Cybertronian or a Kryptonian or a Saiyan. But if it can be balanced, it's in. If the race doesn't exist in the system, our GM would gladly invent a race template. We could also be as badass as we liked in our backgrounds, but the end of our native worlds did take a lot out of us.

Our party at the time of this story was;

A dhampir thief (My character), who happens to be a pacifist. If the Chaotic Good persuasion.
An Averial (winged elf) priestess.
A drow princess sharpshooter.
An anthro dog woman WW1 pilot, who was our primary front line fighter.
A cyborg scientist who dreamt of becoming a full robot one day.
And last but not least, the star of this particular story, an anthro snow leopard bard, whom we affectionately call Snow Kitty.

We were doing a series of trials for the King of the land we were in. This particular one involved navigating a mystical canyon labyrinth, which led into a desert where an immortal giant was imprisoned. The giant had a magic cauldron that could magically produce enough food to feed 100 men a day. We needed to acquire the cauldron.

Now, the GM told us that getting to our goal would take a series of Survival rolls. First problem. It's hot and sunny in this place. Snow Kitty doesn't handle heat well. And the dhampir and drow handle the sun even worse. Second problem. Only one character out of 6 had put any points at all into Survival. That would be Snow Kitty. And she had one point in it. Now, in Savage Worlds, the system we play in, one point is reasonable for a minor skill. But we were going to need to roll it a lot. The GM, seeing this problem, allowed the rest of us to roll other skills if we could come up for with a reasonable explanation for how this would contribute to our survival success. I forget what everyone was doing, but I was effectively lending the party my stealth.

First day's journey was a great success. We encountered no hazards, and found the ruin of the old watch tower to camp out in. In that tower, Snow Kitty found some gem stones. Purple in color, IIRC. And she fell in love with her new treasures. She took a hindrance that she's easily distracted by shiny things. So she showed them off and then played with them until she fell asleep.

The next day, the rolls did not go so well. In this adventure, we were either succeeding spectacularly, or failing spectacularly. No middle ground. So Snow Kitty led us right into a mine field of magic runes that sprouted tiny tendrils to hold us. Half the party got caught in them. Of course, Snow Kitty led us into this mess, but she also got us out. She figured out how to sing the magical hazards into releasing the victims. So we got out of that, and moved on. But Snow Kitty found moving was getting more difficult. And it wasn't just the heat. When we finally stopped to camp again, she found her pockets filled with stones. She emptied them in a panic looking for her shinies. They were still there, but it turns out they were magical and would keep magically conjuring more stones her pockets as long as she kept them. She failed her Spirit roll to overcome her hindrance, so ended up keeping them a while longer. My thief has a rule against stealing from friends, but she was considering making an exception for Snow Kitty's own good.

The next day saw another round of spectacular success at our travel rolls, and we reached the gateway to our goal by evening. Snow Kitty found still more rocks in her pockets, and finally managed to throw them away in frustration. But the cyborg had an idea, picked them up, and stuffed them in her canteen.

In the desert, we quickly located the giant's cave. There was some dispute as to how to approach this. My character, being a thief and half vampire, wanted to wait for cover of night to sneak in, grab the target and get out. Tomboy doggie, thinks of even the suggestion of sneaking as an insult to her honor. I got out voted, so most of us surrounded the entrance, with the priestess and the doggie calling the giant out, where they'd try to trick it into dropping its precious. They did so by tossing it most of our remaining supplies (We had a magic item on hand that would teleport us back to the king when we were done). Grabbing the cauldron was my job. Getting into position, I had an insanely good stealth roll, like the kind Batman must get everytime he sneaks up on Superman. Pouncing at the target, though, I botched. Did pass the strength roll to lift the thing, though. My thief has only a so-so Strength stat, but she's never failed a strength roll. Our GM has commented that he likes to think of that just being her undead lineage showing. But she gets spotted, and combat with the unkillable giant starts. But it only lasted one round and ended in victory, all thanks to Snow Kitty.

I ran with the prize. That was the whole point of the quest. Drow took her shot. Cyborg blasted with one of her built in weapons. Tomboy doggy went in and slashed at its shins, in spite having a laser blaster, our single most effective weapon. I understand a desire to conserve ammo, but this was a boss fight. I think Snow Kitty must have gone dead last in initiative. No one else did any real damage. But Snow Kitty sang a magical lulliby, and down the giant went. So did Tomboy doggy. So lucky it didn't fall on top of her and crush her. Or more likely, the GM just didn't want to kill her off. My thief was on the outer edge of the spell AoE, and saved against it. No one else was close enough.

But Snow Kitty saved the day. The cyborg tossed the canteen with the magic gems in its mouth, though we never learned what effect that might have, and we teleported away before it woke up.
Aeshdan 4th Aug 2017, 2:39 PM Prince Fraternal Of Pudding edit delete reply
I think the best part is seeing the juxtaposition between their predictions of doom and those wide-eyed smiles of glee.
steeeve 8th Aug 2017, 2:39 PM edit delete reply
At the Gala...
HappyEevee 24th May 2018, 7:54 AM Love it edit delete reply
Oh god I've been laughing so hard reading through this comic... making the GGG into a con game is the most hilariously player thing ever.