Page 96 - No Real Choices

17th Mar 2012, 6:00 AM in Friendship is Magic, Part 2
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No Real Choices
Average Rating: 4.57 (7 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 17th Mar 2012, 6:00 AM edit delete
The super-wide shots in panels 3 and 4 were made by stitching parts of the panning motion together. The full images are available below:

Panel 3
Panel 4
Newbiespud 17th Mar 2012, 11:57 AM edit delete
Remember when Rainbow Dash mentioned having an axe for a cutie mark? Look at some really awesome art of that.
Newbiespud 17th Mar 2012, 10:58 PM edit delete
Additionally, the Fanart and Links pages have finally gone live. Gotta put this stuff somewhere, right? Go check them out.

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: February 20th.



Gyrwulf 17th Mar 2012, 6:03 AM edit delete reply
I love how Fluttershy is the one flying even though she hates to and Rainbow is standing
Veya 17th Mar 2012, 7:41 AM edit delete reply
Fluttershy doesn't hate flying, she just doesn't like flying too high or too fast, if you pay attention, flying around while out-doors and even in-doors sometimes is the most natural thing to her.

Also, Fluttershy doesn't hate, she just really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really deslikes.
Derpmind 17th Mar 2012, 6:09 AM edit delete reply
Jeez Pinkie, anyone ever tell you that you can be just a little bit insensitive?
Ranubis 17th Mar 2012, 6:32 AM edit delete reply
Ah yes, nothing like the threat of Death by Rainbow to keep the former bad guys in line.

Wait, should that refer to Dash or Harmony?
Veya 17th Mar 2012, 7:43 AM edit delete reply
Masterofgames 17th Mar 2012, 8:35 AM edit delete reply
Mmm, quite. (fixes bow tie and top hat)
Brony Is Magic 17th Mar 2012, 8:53 AM edit delete reply
Strangely enough, Death by Rainbow also happened the bad guy in G1's first episode.
Bronymous 17th Mar 2012, 9:38 AM edit delete reply
Death by Rainbow actually appears to be a recurring theme. They did the same to the Smooze (though it was a bit more complicated).
Brony Is Magic 17th Mar 2012, 9:41 AM edit delete reply
Wait, the Smooze was an actual thing?! Link now plox!
Bronymous 17th Mar 2012, 9:56 AM edit delete reply

You'll probably want to watch the rest for context, but this is where the witches summon the Smooze. WARNING: GOD AWFUL 80'S MOVIE ALERT. Be prepared for terrible animation, voice acting, and a song.
Guest 17th Mar 2012, 10:09 AM edit delete reply
You thought Friendship is Witchcraft invented it?
Brony Is Magic 17th Mar 2012, 10:14 AM edit delete reply
Yeah, pretty much.

But after watching it, I want to summon the Smooze now. Except it can't be purple. Good lord it can't be purple. I want it to look like the blood of someone who has ebola. Crimson with black specks.
Nezumi 19th Mar 2012, 10:27 AM edit delete reply
You... thought Friendship is Witchcraft invented the Smooze? I... HEATHEN! *Watched the G1 series when she was a little girl and watched that movie multiple times.*
kriss1989 17th Mar 2012, 2:39 PM kriss1989 edit delete reply
And in the Rainbow Bright movie...OK not pony but still. Rainbows kick more flank than people realize. Heck, rainbows are the weakness of superhumans in the Kinikuman universe.
Brony Is Magic 17th Mar 2012, 3:00 PM edit delete reply
And DOUBLE rainbows are the weakness of anyone who's high on shrooms.
technopony 17th Mar 2012, 6:43 AM edit delete reply
This should lead to some interesting roleplay when we get to Nightmare Night, I imagine.
Anaya 17th Mar 2012, 6:52 AM edit delete reply
I feel like Twilight's hoof is kind of awkward there.
j-eagle12212012 5th Sep 2014, 8:18 PM edit delete reply
Pinkie pie is missing her ears did you notice that?
Brainstorm 17th Mar 2012, 7:44 AM edit delete reply
Hrrm. You'd better have PLANS for this, Spud... As a Luna-fan, I'm not liking how the dialogue here kind of cheapens her emotional reunion/reconciliation. =\
Veya 17th Mar 2012, 8:06 AM edit delete reply
It doesn't really cheapens anything, the problem is that the players aren't involved into the situation the same way the real Mane Six was, Pinkie probably just meant "Come on, we get it, it is suposed to be dramatic, just get to the point!" in her own way.
Brainstorm 17th Mar 2012, 8:52 AM edit delete reply
I humbly beg to differ. Pinkie's input during the moment drastically changes the context of Luna's apology to Celestia, as noted by the DM's "Did you... say that out loud?" It goes from a moment of true inner turmoil to a moment of reflexive self-protection after a line that could be interpreted as a threat or verbal coercion. =\
Guest 17th Mar 2012, 10:16 AM edit delete reply
Her apology may very well still have been sincere, but I like the fact that this leaves it an open question in this universe. It gives the players something to consider, and if you think about it it would make some of the Mane 6 not fully trusting her in Luna Eclipsed make more sense.
Guest #2 17th Mar 2012, 10:42 AM edit delete reply
There's also the possibility that it was a player comment; ie, The DM asked if it was said in character and it wasn't. We don't see Pinkie answer one way or the other so it depends on if the DM wanted to take it as such or not
Azureink 17th Mar 2012, 9:45 AM edit delete reply
It just means that in this universe, Luna is an archetypical villain who will feign repentance, lulling the PCs into a false sense of security... then she will strike and take back the night.
kriss1989 17th Mar 2012, 2:41 PM kriss1989 edit delete reply
Or you can screw with the players by hinting at this several times and have nothing come of it just to make them paranoid. That's a lot of fun.
Brony Is Magic 17th Mar 2012, 2:59 PM edit delete reply
I agree. I love to have my mind messed with on an adventure.
Guest 17th Mar 2012, 7:07 PM edit delete reply
I bet it's going to be Celestia's reason for taking the Elements from them and sealing them behind that door for safe keeping. I mean if Pinkie would have used it on Luna for simply not reconciling with Celestia think of how Gilda and Trixie's episodes would have ended.
Guest 17th Mar 2012, 8:07 AM edit delete reply
Last pannel : Wingboner
Brony Is Magic 17th Mar 2012, 8:38 AM edit delete reply
It's not a wingboner. Celestia was surprised by the sudden movement, and when animals are surprised, they try to make themselves look bigger. If you have wings, that means you flare them. Also dude, ew, Luna's her SISTER.
gindranis 17th Mar 2012, 9:22 AM edit delete reply
and no one on the internet has ever gotten off on the incestious tale of two sisters.

though I agree pr0nies should not exist...
Guest 17th Mar 2012, 9:41 AM edit delete reply
Am I the only brony who can take a joke?
Brony Is Magic 17th Mar 2012, 9:42 AM edit delete reply
No, I can take a joke. As long as it's not UTTERLY DISGUSTING!
Bronymous 17th Mar 2012, 9:50 AM edit delete reply
best way to look at that is that Pegasi (and Alicorns, occasionally) involuntarily flare their wings during moments of emotional or physical excitement, irritation, agitation, or like BiM said, just when they're generally surprised.

And yes, this covers arousal as well. Look at it like this. Male sometimes get erections during intense moments of excitement, when testosterone and adrenaline are pumping, and the situation may be entirely non-sexual. Doesn't mean they don't have boners. The same rule can apply here, though its important to remember the wings are not a sexual organ and are easily controllable afterwards. Wingboners do exist, it just requires context to decide what kind of reaction it is.

As for Ponyporn, of course it should exist. Rule 34 is not a joke, its a fundamental law of the Internet, one that cannot be broken just because something is really nice and poular. in fact that contributes to the creation, the more people like something, the more people will end up having it "ruined" by Rule 34.
Guest #2 17th Mar 2012, 10:38 AM edit delete reply
Agreed on the last point. I know I (and most of you) don't want to see it, but a group within the group shouldn't be told they can't enjoy something in a certain way just because it's distasteful.

At least, from what I've seen anyway, it seldom leaks into the parts that don't want to see it. Beyond more tame references like Wingboner n' stuff (which pending context/setup I can find amusing as well)

Just my two cents.
Raxon 16th Jun 2012, 12:40 PM edit delete reply
Remember, when a pegasus is confused, or startled, or excited, having their wings out could be a fight or flight instinct. Having their wings out is a sign that either way, they'll be able to take off that much faster.
ADemonicPresence 17th Mar 2012, 10:52 AM edit delete reply
i'd just like to point out that celestia's wings are almost always flared out, probably just to ensure that she's the most imposing figure at any given time
CharginChuck 17th Mar 2012, 11:49 AM edit delete reply
She already has her wings spread out in the first panel....
Bronymous 17th Mar 2012, 12:41 PM edit delete reply
I don't know about envy, no one has really touched on the idea that bigger wings are better or more attractive. Celestia is far taller than just about any other pony, so it makes sense that her wings would be scaled up. Luna's wings are the same way.
Brony Is Magic 17th Mar 2012, 7:21 PM edit delete reply
Uncomfortable topic is uncomfortable.
Bronymous 17th Mar 2012, 8:07 PM edit delete reply
Who's not comfortable? I've been on the Internet, I have seen some shit. This is pretty damn polite conversation compared to where we could be taking this.
Wut 17th Mar 2012, 10:52 PM edit delete reply
I don't really understand how people get offended by the word wingboner, especially considering that it is your own imagination that provides the context for the image which disgusts you, aka, blame your brain not the reference.

Words only have power if you let them, so just like getting over saying the F word in normal conversation after eighth grade, you can get over the term wingboner.

the1andonly joe 18th Mar 2012, 3:39 AM edit delete reply
well, in that case let me be the first to appologise for being raised in a society that has conditioned my brain to associate certain symbols and sounds with certain concepts and then place taboos on such concepts.

wow, that came out way more sarky than i expected. i should now this by now, but british humor is far, far too subtle for the internet.
Panoptes 19th Mar 2012, 8:01 AM edit delete reply
I just got a wonderful image of the Equestrian version of Freud theorizing that non-pegasus children of pegasi are subject to "wing envy".

And to those who are offended by this, at least wings aren't as directly phallic as unicorn horns.

Aaaand now that I've ruined things even further I'm off to go hide somewhere.
Bronymous 19th Mar 2012, 9:08 AM edit delete reply
Oh you kids
Brainstorm 19th Mar 2012, 6:23 PM edit delete reply
Oh no no... Wing envy sounds like an amazing topic to cover in Pony Stand-up Comedy. Somebody get on this.
Curb 17th Mar 2012, 9:01 AM edit delete reply
Ahh Pinkie...always speaking before the point across.

BTW, checked out the link to the new Cutie Mark for Dash...she needs that mark from now it, heck, I'd carry that ax in combat, maybe work something into next fantasy campaign. Need to work up the Mane 6 stats.
Brony Is Magic 17th Mar 2012, 9:52 AM edit delete reply
I agree. I need a greataxe that works as a Prismatic Spray on hits.
Curb 18th Mar 2012, 8:17 AM edit delete reply
Hmmm, Prismatic Spray on a successful the damage of the ax itself...nasty, very nasty, I like it!
Masterofgames 18th Mar 2012, 8:37 PM edit delete reply
I once made a set of weapons that all were charmed to glow when drawn, were all +1, and could be combined into a +6 prismatic crossbow that didn't need ammo.

Neither the DM or the players knew I had just made power ranger weapons until I fired it for the first time.

I also made a masterwork dagger/flute with a sound alteration enchantment, and spell storage. One could use the stored spells to cast Summon Animal one through nine, depending on how many charges were used. It could only summon warforged green dragons though, the number of charges used just affected the size.

Never did get to use it. It was taken away by the GM at the same time as my crossbow.
McBehrer 19th Mar 2012, 2:30 PM edit delete reply
That flute is awesome.

But, a weapon can't have an enchantment higher thatn +5. ever.
Masterofgames 19th Mar 2012, 3:34 PM edit delete reply
Not to my knowledge. To be fair, I was an epic level character at the time, and I don't know if that influences anything, but I eventually wound up dual-wielding two +10 sonic longswords. Maybe we are thinking of different versions?
Shikome Kido Mi 20th Mar 2012, 10:58 PM edit delete reply
Epic magic is an exception to the +5 rule.
Guest 17th Mar 2012, 9:02 AM edit delete reply
Anyone ever notice that Pinkie Pie is missing her ears in that scene?
Brony Is Magic 17th Mar 2012, 9:34 AM edit delete reply
Not until you pointed it out. But she's Pinkie, so her ears are probably right next to the sisters so she can better hear what's going on.
Azureink 17th Mar 2012, 9:43 AM edit delete reply
Probably hidden under her awesome fro!
Umiyuri Papaeyra 17th Mar 2012, 12:17 PM edit delete reply
Umiyuri Papaeyra
Yeah, the layer with her ears didn't render in the shot.
Lyntermas 17th Mar 2012, 10:02 AM edit delete reply
Yeah, I don't like the implication that Luna's "redemption" is merely a response to a threat either. It makes it more likely that Luna will simply play the "demure sister" rather than voicing any real concerns she may still have. But I will try to trust in Newbiespud.

Or maybe...

TS: Um, Princess Luna. I had always wondered. When Celestia was offering to have you rule again at her side, did you, uh...
Luna: Hear the pink one's opinion? Yes, I must confess I did.
TS:...I'm sorry. She just kind of blurted it out, she didn't WANT to have to fight you again. But as Celestia said, you can't force friendship, and forcing you to rule with your sister wasn't right.
Luna: Forcing me? Did you think that I've been ruling this whole time in fear that stepping out of line would be punished? Let me assure you, that was not my primary motivation for reconciling with my sister.
TS:...But you seemed to only answer after Pinkie's comment.
Luna:...When I was Nightmare Moon, I had believed that the Elements were only capable of annihilating or imprisoning people, so I was deathly afraid of their use against me. But when it hit me, I was a strange experience. All the power and pride and rage I had been holding onto were stripped away, like garish clothes. Despite my years, for a moment, I felt like a filly again; with a filly's view that the world wasn't out to get you and could be filled with wonderful things. But at the sight of my sister, I remembered what I was: a selfish, hurtful foal who had tried to imprison her sister and take her kingdom out of spite.
TS: But then she offered you her friendship.
Luna: Yes, friendship that I didn't think I would ever be offered. I was afraid that it just might be a trick to appease me. The pain of rejection that had motivated my uprising hadn't fully gone away. I briefly considered standing against my sister, preferring to being imprisoned than have to concede to her. But with Pinkie's comment, I realized that without reconciliation, the cycle would repeat itself. I remembered the power and rage as Nightmare Moon had poisoned my thoughts and consumed my soul, and...I didn't want to be like that ever again.
Kaleopolitus 17th Mar 2012, 11:15 AM edit delete reply
Malubatorius 17th Mar 2012, 12:29 PM edit delete reply
Well if she is faking shes doing a good job of it.
kriss1989 17th Mar 2012, 2:48 PM kriss1989 edit delete reply
TS: So uhhhh why haven't we seen you in over a year then?

Luna: Well I was out of date by a thousand years. Do you realize how much stuff I had to catch up on just to understand modern cooking and what a gas oven was, let alone run politics? I've probably spent more time studying modern culture than you have magic. I am now a "supper fly hep cat yo".

TS: ...that's nice.
Brony Is Magic 17th Mar 2012, 2:58 PM edit delete reply
After Luna's comment, somewhere in the world, Celestia head-desked.
Guest 17th Mar 2012, 3:24 PM edit delete reply
Luna: I had decades of television to watch!
Brony Is Magic 17th Mar 2012, 3:28 PM edit delete reply
Luna: And yet I never saw anything resembling ALF on the moon. Or little green men from Mars.
Bronymous 17th Mar 2012, 4:33 PM edit delete reply
Gas Oven? Try microwave. Luna cannot handle the microwave.
Brony Is Magic 17th Mar 2012, 7:18 PM edit delete reply
I hope she didn't put any Peeps in there...

But then again, I wasn't trusted with a microwave oven when I was her age.
Bronymous 17th Mar 2012, 8:08 PM edit delete reply
When you were her... what?
Brony Is Magic 18th Mar 2012, 8:29 AM edit delete reply
Oh, you didn't know? I'm REALLY old. I was her age only 40 years ago. Really a blink of the eye, but still, enough of a gap to warrant nostalgia.
Bronymous 19th Mar 2012, 9:09 AM edit delete reply
...I'm a year older than you...
Qin the Kirin 17th Mar 2012, 11:38 AM edit delete reply
River of Tears(o is a fall of tears?). good one.
Qin the Kirin 17th Mar 2012, 11:42 AM edit delete reply
i forget, some one has commented to pinkie that his ears run away. before princes luna awnser? maybe were afrai of the awnser XD.
Brony Is Magic 17th Mar 2012, 3:01 PM edit delete reply
I didn't say her ears ran away, I said that she used her magical Pinkie Powers to teleport her ears right next to the Princesses.
Philadelphus 17th Mar 2012, 2:08 PM edit delete reply
As someone who enjoys putting panoramas together and makes a lot of 'em, I really like those wide shots, and can appreciate the work that went into them. Very nice!
Lyntermas 17th Mar 2012, 4:02 PM edit delete reply
Here's a CMCF alt-script. Today's subject: Rainbow Dash.

RD: Grrr, this is so unfair. The Sonic Rainboom requires passing an Acrobatics skill challenge with 5 sequential rolls. 5 rolls! I knew it, this Young Flier's competition is gonna be a waste of time.
FS: But I'm sure you'll do well, Rainbow Dash. I'm sure you'll do just fine and not have to worry about the Crowd Multiplier at all.
RD:...The Crowd what now?
FS: Oh, I was just reading the rules for big events like this. In situations where you perform for large crowds or celebrities, you get an experience multiplier. Since this is a major sports competition, that means you could get a lot of experience if you do well.
RD: Great, no pressure or anything. Wait, why would I have to worry about it? Even if I mess up the Rainboom, the multiplier means I still get some XP, right?
FS: Well, if you perform badly, the modifier becomes negative.
FS: If the crowd doesn't like your show, being forgettable is the best result. If your performance is a memorable disaster, then your reputation will take a major hit. This may cause you to lose a full level to show your shame.
RD:Lo...Lose a level? She's joking, right, DM? You, you wouldn't...
DM: Maintaining an image in front of a crowd, especially the Wonderbolts is important to your character. I can't say there won't be some negative consequences if you fail.
RD:, no I'm not going in front of that crowd. If I mess up, I might go down a full level, and I'm almost at the next. It'll be like losing two levels at once.
DM:You don't want to show you're the fastest pony in Equestria?
RD: Dang right I don't.
DM: Roll a CMCF check.
RD: What? But...Fine. *roll* ...7. What do I win?
DM: The CMCF status: "Stage Fright". You have an extreme problem focusing on performing in front of a crowd. Any Acrobatics or Athletics skill checks made for the entertainment of the audience will take a penalty.
RD:...I'm doomed.
Brony Is Magic 17th Mar 2012, 4:25 PM edit delete reply
Oh no, no, that is vera bad, oh no...
Kaleopolitus 17th Mar 2012, 4:30 PM edit delete reply
So screwed. The DM grabbed the nearest 10 foot pole and knew right where to stab it...

Stop thinking those thoughts, perv.
Bronymous 17th Mar 2012, 4:35 PM edit delete reply
Too late.
Brony Is Magic 17th Mar 2012, 4:43 PM edit delete reply
I prefer to stick my ten foot poles into various tra... Oh, I see what you did there. >8(
gindranis 17th Mar 2012, 4:50 PM edit delete reply
why would you have a foot pole, is this a new word for stilts?
If so, why would you need ten of them, won't one be enough...
(sorry, couldn't resist)
Dfield 17th Mar 2012, 5:02 PM edit delete reply
Stick my ten foot poles into various what...into various what?... WHAT?
McBehrer 17th Mar 2012, 4:53 PM edit delete reply
What does CMCF stand for? I'm not familiar with 4.0. Only 3.5 and Pathfinder.
Brony Is Magic 17th Mar 2012, 5:00 PM edit delete reply
New MLP custom rule. Cutie Mark Critical Failure.
Lyntermas 17th Mar 2012, 5:12 PM edit delete reply
part 2 of 3

RD: Thanks for showing up guys. I need your help to rid of this penalty for me to even have a chance at passing the competition.
PP: No problem, Dashie. We thought we could help cheer you on, but getting rid of a status effect? That’s double helpful.
DM: Your feelings of anxiety start to subside. Perhaps sharing an activity would dispel the effect altogether.
AJ: …So, Rainbow, how about you show us where the weather is made?
RD: …Uh, yeah, sure. I am a weather pony after all, this is my specialty. This way, everypony.
DM: Rainbow Dash leads you through a tour of the Weather Factory. Rarity, you notice that your colorful wings are gaining notice among the pegasi.
RD: Where did you find those wings, anyway?
TS: I found a scroll of “Gossamer Wings” while we were trying to find a way to get to Cloudsdale. They’re way too fragile for any combat use, and I could only cast it once, but they give a +2 to Charisma. Afterwards, I found the “Cloud Walk” spell which I could use multiple times, which allows the rest of us to be up here.
Rarity: Well, if they’re looking, why not give them a show? I twirl around in the air and strike a pose.
DM: The other pegasi stop what they’re doing and gather around you in admiration. Rainbow Dash, you start to feel self-conscious and your anxiety starts to return.
TS: Rarity, you might want to tone it down a bit. We’re here to help Dash, remember?
Rarity: Oh, Twilight, it’s not my fault I look so fabulous. I fly up towards the ceiling so the other pegasi can get a good look.
DM: Through the glass ceiling, the sun shines through your wings, giving off a colored pattern on the floor below. You notice that all the ponies covered by the colored light look entranced, gasping in awe, and begging for more.
AJ: Wait, you mean to tell me that the wings have some sort of Area-of-Effect Charm Person effect?
DM:…I wasn’t going to use that exact phrasing, but yes.
Rarity: …Heh. Ha ha. HA HA HA HA HA! YES! I can control all of Cloudsdale with these wings! If the adoration of an entire city doesn’t catapult me into high society, nothing will. But how can I get enough people to see me at once?
NPC Pony: Wow, your wings are awesome! You should totally get into the Young Flier’s Competition. All the pegasi upper class and even the Wonderbolts will be there.
Rarity: Will they now? Sounds simply divine. I fly off towards the Coliseum to see if I can still sign up for the competition.
RD:…I’m not losing my penalty, am I?
DM: Considering you’re now competing against Cloudsdale’s Next Top Model, your anxiety remains in full force.
RD: Thought so.
Brony Is Magic 17th Mar 2012, 6:34 PM edit delete reply
Lyntermas 17th Mar 2012, 7:28 PM edit delete reply
Sorry for the delay. This might end up being 5 parts total. Hope you'll read all of it.

DM: Due to Rarity’s preparations and Dash’s procrastination…
RD: Rolling the 1’s out is a perfectly legitimate strategy! I just need more time…
DM: You both have to go out and do your acts at the same time. As you head out, the announcer says, “And finally, here is contestant #15…and #4.”
Rarity: Glad to use my Dexterity for something other than sneaking. I use Acrobatics and pirouette in the air. *roll* 15.
DM: You soar gracefully in the air like a flying ballerina. The crowd starts to ooh and ahh.
RD: Alright, phase 1: Weave Pole. Acrobatics skill challenge: Go. *roll* 17. *roll* 16. *roll* 14.
DM: The muscle memory from your successful rehearsal gets you started well enough, but your anxiety causes you to miscalculate and slam into one of the vertical cloud pillars. As you rebound off, you hear the sniggers and taunts of the jocks from earlier.
Rarity: My turn? I fly in a stunning figure-eight pattern. *roll* 17.
DM: The crowd is continuing to look at you in awe as you glide through the arena like a figure-skater.
RD: …Phase 2: Cloud Spin. *roll* 15. *roll* 18. *roll* …5, which with a -4 penalty would be a 1.
DM: You manage to successfully spin 3 clouds, but a piece of cloud smacks you in the face and throws you off-course. The cloud you were spinning flies off towards Princess Celestia’s box seat, exploding just above her head. The rest of the coliseum doesn’t seem to notice, as they are entranced by Rarity’s performance.
Rarity: Well, I think I’ve got enough of the crowd’s attention; this plan should work. I fly towards the sun above the Coliseum.
RD: …*sniff*
TS: …Rainbow Dash, are you okay?
RD: I was never going to win this, was I? The game was rigged from the start.
AJ: Dash, I don’t think the whole thing was…
RD: SHUT UP! It all adds up! Baiting me with the Wonderbolts, the sheer impossibility of a sonic rainboom, the negative crowd multiplier, the CTCF. And then Rarity comes prancing in with her magic wings to steal the show. It’s one thing for you to upstage me, Rarity, when you KNOW how important this is to me…my character, whatever. But DM, you allowed her and ENCOURAGED HER to do it. There’s no Wonderbolts, no rainboom, just one long “Make Rainbow Dash look like an idiot” session. And I really… I really thought… *stands up and runs out of the room*.
DM: I…I didn’t think…
FS: Why don’t we take a little break? I’d like to talk to her a little bit.
DM: Yeah, that’s a good idea.
Brony Is Magic 17th Mar 2012, 7:32 PM edit delete reply
I see some sympathy chips are needed. Let me just find the Emotional Vending Machine.
Lyntermas 17th Mar 2012, 7:36 PM edit delete reply
FS: …Are you okay?
RD: …I…I can’t believe I was even starting to get into it too.
FS: Get into what?
RD: All of it. The ponies, the missions, the little things around town , even that derp-eyed miniature that keeps popping up. I never really cared that much about settings most of the time. Just give me a monster to kill and I’m on it. But with this, I actually wanted to succeed. I wanted to meet the Wonderbolts. Imagine, me wanting to meet an imaginary group of costumed flying ponies. But my character is made for combat in a world where THERE IS NO COMBAT. I thought that this competition was my chance to shine, like with you beating the dragon. Guess I was just fooling myself.
FS: …Remember when I failed my Save vs. Fear roll at the very bottom of the mountain, and AJ had to drag me up to you guys?
RD: Well, yeah, but that was at the very start.
FS: And the foot-wide ravine? And the rock slide? And the fact that my character is mortally afraid of dragons?
RD: But you came out the winner in the end. That made it all worth it.
FS: I didn’t feel like “my session to shine” at the time. But I still went along with it because we were a team, and we were all in it together. Now, I know that it seems like everything’s stacked against you, but I think you should at least see it through.
RD: But I have to pass 5 consecutive rolls with a -4 penalty, there’s no freaking way to pull it off. I’m stuck losing two levels. Why continue when the only winning move is not to play?
FS: With the crowd looking at Rarity, I think the multiplier doesn’t really apply anymore. The DM will probably give you XP for trying. And if worse comes to worse…I can give you some of my XP.
RD: WHAT? You…you don’t need to do that.
FS: I don’t really care about the XP. I’ve been having a lot of fun doing this with all of you, and…the game just wouldn’t be the same if you left us. Could you at least finish the session?...Please?
RD: …Fine. But I’m only guaranteeing this session. If I think the DM is really trying to make a fool out of me, I’m walking out for good. Understood?

To be concluded...
Lyntermas 17th Mar 2012, 8:19 PM edit delete reply
DM: Alright, good to have you back, Dash. You okay?
RD: For the moment. Anyway, I still have to try the Sonic Rainboom, right? I fly upwards to gain altitude.
DM: Both Rarity and Rainbow Dash are flying high above the Coliseum. Rarity reaches a position between the sun and the rest of the audience in the Coliseum.
Rarity: Um, darling, is it okay if I…
RD: ..It’s in character for you, Rarity. Go ahead.
Rarity: …Thank you. Ahem. I unfurl my beautiful wings to let the sunlight stream through them and project the colors on the audience. I say “Look upon me, Equestria. For I. AM. RARITY!”
DM: The colors stream out from the wings over the entire audience. With few exceptions, the entire audience is entranced at the sight of your butterfly wings.
AJ: And the ego-stroking has reached its peak.
Rarity: Laugh while you can, Applejack. I have a full city in thrall and there’s no stopping my ascent to nobility now.
DM: Under the full brunt of the sun, the edges of your wings start to sizzle. In a flash, both wings suddenly disintegrate. You quickly start falling to the ground.
Rarity: …What?
TS: I guess the “unsuitable for combat” description was a bit of an understatement.
Rarity: I cry out to my subjects for help.
DM: The pegasi are slightly dazed as the Charm Person effect had been suddenly broken. Fortunately, 3 of the Wonderbolts were unaffected and quickly swoop down to catch you.
Rarity: I reach out and try to grab onto them. *roll* 1!?!
DM: …Your flailing limbs manage to hit all three Wonderbolts in the head, knocking them unconscious. The four of you are now in freefall towards the ground.
FS: Oh, no! Rainbow Dash, help!
RD: …Do I hear any of this?
DM: You hear Fluttershy’s piercing cry. Looking down, you see the falling figures of Rarity and 3 of the Wonderbolts.
RD:…I’m only doing this for Fluttershy, you understand?
Lyntermas 17th Mar 2012, 8:20 PM edit delete reply
DM: Doing what?
RD: I turn around and fly straight down to try and catch them.
DM: Um, Dash, you realize that by doing this-
RD: I don’t care about the competition and I don’t care about the freaking Rainboom. Now what do I have to do to save Rarity’s sorry flank?
DM: …Roll an Acrobatics skill challenge.
RD: Of course. *roll* Dang it, 14.
DM: What’s the problem?
RD: My stage fright gives me a -4 penalty, and a 14 failed one of the prior challenges.
DM: You are no longer concerned with the audience. Your stage fright has left you. Keep rolling.
RD:… Alright. *roll* 17. *roll* 16. *roll*18.
AJ: Wait, is she..
RD: *roll* Natural 20. Do I catch her or not?
DM: …the distance between you was too great for even a Wonderbolt to cross in time.
RD: So I had no chance!?! See, I knew it was rigged all-
DM: As you steadily approach, you feel a familiar sort of barrier come upon you, keeping you from accelerating further.
RD: Dang it all, the freaking sound barrier. You brought it up just to screw me ov-
AJ: Rainbow Dash, how many rolls does it take to do a Sonic Rainboom?
RD: 5, with the last two being 18 or higher…wait.
DM: You hear the barrier strain under your sheer speed. With the power that only a “special talent” spectacular success can bring, you burst through the barrier, causing a rainbow colored ring to expand in all directions as your mane leaves a continuous trail. In a flash, you reach the four ponies, pick them up, then swoop around in a loop to bring them back to Cloudsdale.

Bronymous 17th Mar 2012, 8:25 PM edit delete reply
D'awww, it had a happy ending after all.
reynard61 17th Mar 2012, 10:03 PM edit delete reply
Is it strange that in my head it was Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy having this conversation rather than their players? (This was strictly rhetorical question. Yes, it *is* strange; but Lyntermas writes these things so well that I just don't give a s**t! Love your writing, Lyntermas!)
Kaleopolitus 18th Mar 2012, 4:17 AM edit delete reply
LOVED IT. Oh monkey dipsticks I do enjoy your work, Lyntermas xD
Ranubis 18th Mar 2012, 5:36 AM edit delete reply
Great script, Lyntermas! Thanks for writing these. It's one thing to describe the rolls along with the show events, but to add OOC conversation showing how RD is reacting? That's what sells this. Keep up the great work!
Brony Is Magic 18th Mar 2012, 7:30 AM edit delete reply
Ponies: Now with the ability to be enjoyed by everyone!
Lyntermas 18th Mar 2012, 7:34 AM edit delete reply
Thanks for the feedback guys. I figured this scenario deserved a bit more elaboration (how can I pass up the chance to write the Sonic Rainboom?). I added in RD's outburst because of the thought that if RD hates losing and cares about the end result, she wouldn't put up with all the s**t the DM had foisted onto her. The conversation between FS and RD was really fun to write (and gave a reason for Chaotic Evil RD to save Rarity who, let's face it, this RD would probably let fall otherwise).

Glad you all liked it, and I look forward to writing more. Lyntermas away! *flies off*
Brony Is Magic 18th Mar 2012, 8:39 AM edit delete reply
Hey, Lyntermas, can I offer a suggestion? When you're done with the CMCFs, could you make an alt-script for the Sisterhooves Social?
SBM92 18th Mar 2012, 10:02 AM edit delete reply
Lyntermas: shivers. as i read that last paragraph you gave me shivers, something the real ep didn't. for some reason the danger seemed more real on you CMCF than it did in the real episode, n Sonic Rainboom is one of my favourite episodes
SBM92 18th Mar 2012, 10:03 AM edit delete reply
i commend you, good sir ^__^
Raxon 16th Jun 2012, 12:54 PM edit delete reply
Get a CMCF too often, and you may just descend into CMFIS. That is a dark, scary place.
DracoS 19th Mar 2012, 12:31 AM edit delete reply
What is CMCF?
Ranubis 19th Mar 2012, 7:17 AM edit delete reply
Cutie Mark Critical Failure.

I'm probably way off, but I understand it to be when a Mane character tries to do something associated with their talent, but rolls a 1, they have severe penalties put on them. Of course, the inverse means that a sucessful critical has awesome effects.

Is that anywhere close?
Lyntermas 19th Mar 2012, 8:35 AM edit delete reply
In my stories, it's more triggered by a pony's role-played "mental state" than actually failing.
RD is afraid to use her special talent.
TS is stressed out about potentially failing in her special talent.
AJ wrongly associates her harvesting the orchard all by herself with her special talent. etc.

The DM then asks them to roll a save against a CMCF. If they fail the save, a penalty is applied. The penalty can only be removed by getting rid of the "stressor" causing the penalty. The DM encourages players to rely on their friends to get them out of their CMCF state. However, most of the players get stuck in the mentality of trying to remove the "stressor" by themselves. RD's case is one of the few times that a pony is actually able to get rid of their own CMCF.
Guest 17th Mar 2012, 5:02 PM edit delete reply
Just watched the new ep. Spoilers: it has dragons in it.
Dfield 17th Mar 2012, 5:04 PM edit delete reply
And the winner of most "Umad?" inducing comment goes to... Guest!!
Brony Is Magic 17th Mar 2012, 5:23 PM edit delete reply
Not much of a spoiler if you like MLP on Facebook. You do some puzzles and you get to see a sneak peek of that weeks new episode.
Guest 17th Mar 2012, 5:30 PM edit delete reply
Considering the title is "Dragon Quest"...

Spoilers! The new episode has PONIES in it! Gasp!
Brony Is Magic 17th Mar 2012, 5:52 PM edit delete reply
Aw, man, why'd you have to go and ruin it for me?

But considering that the show is My Little Pony... Spoiler! The new episode has lava!
Lyntermas 17th Mar 2012, 7:30 PM edit delete reply
Um, Kaleopolitus.

The next post is



(He's a little behind on the episodes, be patient with him.)
Kaleopolitus 18th Mar 2012, 4:19 AM edit delete reply
Thanks Lynt, you're a dear :P

I'm not actually reading most of the comments though out of fear of reading spoilers xD

Still, I have a hawk's eye for my nickname.
Bronymous 17th Mar 2012, 6:06 PM edit delete reply
Spike goes on a quest to discover himself after realizing he is different from the wild dragons, following them when they migrate. There he finds a group of young dragons (jerks) who proceed to "initiate" him through various contests. Ultimately they bring him on a Dragon Raid to steal some phoenix eggs, whereupon he finally refuses, stands up to them, and then runs for his life. He is saved by Twi, Dash and Rarity who have been following him the whole time. He learns that its not so bad living the life of a Pony, when the alternative is being a mean, angry monster.

...OH! I forgot! Spoiler Alert.
Brony Is Magic 17th Mar 2012, 6:31 PM edit delete reply
Lyntermas 17th Mar 2012, 10:37 PM edit delete reply
Just have to say: Crackle is best dragon.
Masterofgames 18th Mar 2012, 2:21 AM edit delete reply
Crackle is the Derpy of the dragons.
Brony Is Magic 18th Mar 2012, 7:33 AM edit delete reply
Yeah, I was worried the ponies were going to be found out, but I saw Crackle, and I was like SAAAAAAAAAVE!
Digo 18th Mar 2012, 5:58 PM edit delete reply
It was a brilliant and well timed joke too. I loved that part.
Panoptes 19th Mar 2012, 8:19 AM edit delete reply
I was so disappointed with the episode. I thought they were all going to start playing JRPGs.

Raxon 16th Jun 2012, 1:01 PM edit delete reply
From now on, whenever we see a dragon, Crackle should be somewhere in the background.
lam 17th Mar 2012, 8:27 PM edit delete reply
Pinkie Pie: the element of tension breaking. *Pinkie Flop*
darkwulf23 18th Mar 2012, 10:17 PM edit delete reply
I love the internet. Only on there can you find the Mane Six playing dnd.

Like so.
Bronymous 19th Mar 2012, 9:14 AM edit delete reply
Try this.
Quietkal 19th Mar 2012, 12:29 PM edit delete reply
Dood, I remember that story. It's what led me over to this comic.
Good times...good times.
darkwulf23 19th Mar 2012, 1:20 PM edit delete reply
Read it. Actually it was this comic that led me to the story.
dzamie 19th Mar 2012, 3:23 PM edit delete reply
Hm. No-one has made a "share the time when you..." comment yet. So, how about:
Describe any time where what was supposed to be table-talk, didn't quite stay that way.

In a town for our next quest, talking to the Mayor:
Mayor: The artifact is very valuable, and I would pay quite handsomely for its return to me.
Dwarf (table-talk): That's gotta be the most corrupt sentence I've heard this adventure.
Mayor: What? You suspect me of corruption?! Guards!!
Me (to DM): I don't suppose a nat-20 diplomacy will save us?
Mayor: Insanity, it would seem? Lock them in solitary confinement!
Group: *tactical facepalm*
HalfTangible 19th Mar 2012, 9:03 PM edit delete reply
In a game of Paranoia, one of my fellow players remarked that my character was a total bitch while we were waiting for the DM to set some stuff up (we were playing online over Skype). At the end of the session, we were being interrogated by the computer, and the following ensued:

Computer: The traitor has been identified as... Shade, for destruction of the Computer's property via her mutant levitation powers.
Shade(Me, who really did break a tram with her registered power): WHAT?! NO!!
Jim(Your character's a bitch guy): Yes! Die, mutant!
Keveak: *whew of relief*
Rae: Sucks to be you, HT.
Computer: Prepare for Euthanization
Shade: *sobbing* NO NO NO! PLEASE! I'M NOT A TRAITOR I'M JUST A BI-i-i-i-iTCH!!
Computer: *immediately stops* That word is illegal. Who taught you that word, citizen?
Shade: Wha- JIM!
Jim: WHAT?!
Shade: Jim called me a bitch once out of sight of your cameras, computer.
Computer: Reevaluation has concluded that JIM is the commie mutant traitor.
Rae (has the registered mutant power to make any lie believed): No, I heard you say that too. So did Yuu.
Keveak(Yuu): Yeah, I did too.
Jim: You're just using your mutant powers to lie to Yuu and the computer!
Computer: Are you questioning the computer, citizen?
Jim: NO!
Computer: Prepare for euthanization.

...Well, something like that. Long story short, Jim died. Good thing too, i was on my last clone.
Leotard McBoy 19th Mar 2012, 9:24 PM edit delete reply
He's dead Ji-

Droopy 13th Jul 2013, 4:28 PM Splash images edit delete reply
Is it alright if I use one of those extra-wide images?

I'm going to assume yes, but if not let me know at
ElizaLamarche 22nd Nov 2018, 5:48 AM edit delete reply
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