Page 973 - Riff Tax

14th Oct 2017, 6:00 AM in The Best Night Ever, Part 1
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Riff Tax
Average Rating: 5 (1 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 14th Oct 2017, 6:00 AM edit delete
Scrapped line:
Rarity: Finally, someone who understands my pain.


Jennifer 14th Oct 2017, 6:07 AM edit delete reply
Ah, MST. What would we do without it?

Given recent news in the entertainment world, that first panel IS creepy. I'm sure it was written months ago, but still.
Jennifer 14th Oct 2017, 6:11 AM edit delete reply
And on the other hand, like any good MSTing they are making useful points.
ANW 14th Oct 2017, 6:33 AM edit delete reply
Riff stories.
Bonus points for riffing yourself.
Guest 14th Oct 2017, 9:49 AM edit delete reply
In the D&D 5e campaign I'm part of, there's one particular NPC we interact with pretty frequently, an elf wizard who acts as our contact with the local adventurer's guild-esque group. But said NPC is extremely depressed, surly, and generally unpleasant, so everyone in the party hates dealing with him. Pretty much every time he talks, somebody will inevitably start ripping on him for being mopey and emo.

We even gave him the nickname "Sad von WizardGuy", and we've called him that so often that apparently nobody remembers his real name, including the DM.
Solitary Performance 14th Oct 2017, 3:45 PM edit delete reply
To the guest account: So, it's Xan from the Baldur's Gate games? He's an eternally depressed-sounding, pessimistic elven wizard... so if your DM is a fan of that series, that might be what influenced it.
Specter 14th Oct 2017, 10:26 AM edit delete reply
Yay, I learned something new. My day has been made.

Group of four in a counter espionage campaign, with our handler being a 2-star general under Princess Luna. We are currently in the epilogue part of story, confronting the big bad, his group, and I did something already really dumb (which the following conversation includes). Best part/worst part of the game, computers where everywhere. After several months of tracking down the big bad, collecting evidence, and stopping his attempts at assassinating H.V.T.s, and abducting ponies, etc. We finally got him, just one more showdown (basically, they escape if we don't show, otherwise they end up being caught, but us either dead or alive). I was relatively safe as I was a computer specialist/mild field agent, I basically just watch the monitors and tell the group anything of note.

The rest of the group is not that important to the story, since they are the group who did the roasting/riffing. It's probably due to the fact I watched two seasons of "Person of Interest" I ended up doing good this.

The big bad was about to escape via Vtol plane that was stationed on top of his multi-touch office building, I say 'was' because the group used up what little influence we had left to call in a strafing run on the roof of the building (which is a lot of influence actually). Confronted, the big bad decided he wasn't going going down without a fight. His main bodyguards, private security, and contracted assassins were by his side. This left his lieutenants (who were quite low on the hierarchy chain if command), most said 'better to die here than prison', the last one 'ehh, I'll take my chances'. Now, we have quite a few followers at this point, more than enough to chase down one lowly lieutenant down before they escape the building. One of our agents however wanted the glory for them self.

Now this lieutenant was the big bad's own daughter, and technically the heiress to the whole thing. She however doesn't want anything to do with it, instead just wants to live a simple life like her friends. This took our interest immediately of course, so we, as a group, decided it was a good idea to watch her. Being the lowest of three targets (another being monk/anktherssassin sumo) I decided to watch the 'looks harmless but possibly deadly super assassin'. By watch, I really mean watch and "Hello, fancy you again, how are you? I'm fine, I'm actually new to town, I recently moved in. Do you think you can help me get my bearings around town". Let's just say my character fell head over hooves for her, and wanted her to escape. Which she did, with my help. The GM was nice enough to make it look like I was failing to some other hacker messing with the externals of the buildings security, but let's face it, I'm going to be facing judgment soon.

After escaping the building I was able to lead her to our teams van... which was as awkward as you could imagine it would be for me, but so much so as there was actually a hacker who had hacked my mic and redan it from my teams headsets, to the buildings loud speakers, and they were turned on, permanently. Now, I had no idea the rest of the team could here me, and they had no idea I plead physically approached my mark. What threw them off was that the two characters had (on my own time) went on a couple of dates, went shopping (which even in a fake world I am horrible at), and even talked about our similarities (where we both agreed on that we don't have real lives, without going into detail). Turns out she had genuine feelings for my character, which they reasoned theirs was as well.

This two, three minute conversation went on with the other players just riffing and roasting me the whole way (the GM included), me everyone thinking this was oit of character... until the GM rolled for a random event and it came up 'hacker'... "Hey guys, it turns out that whole thing was actually being said over the loud speakers, you want to retcon any of that?"

Group-... No.
Me- Please.
GM- Group wins.

It all stayed in, even the GM voicing the big bad, whcih made her daughter see he really doesn't care for her. So I found some victory that day, until the group won and wanted to torture me some more. So I did the really dumb thing and hacked into our own servers and place my characters now only friend as a new employee which the agency will eventually find out and trace it back to us which will get me probably fired, or worse.

Our GM was very flexible with how we played, but was sure to reprimand us during the epilogue... that was it's own thirty minute fiasco. Yay.
Enigmatic Jack 14th Oct 2017, 9:44 PM edit delete reply
Group is exploring a cave system filled with monsters. We're looking for a kidnapped princess, and some merchants who've gone missing when their caravans were attacked.

Accidentally discover a naked young woman in suspended animation. We revive her, cover her with a cloak, get her back to the castle... the whole nine yards. Head back into the caves.

Fighting a minotaur, shoot it with an arrow that has a powerful magical poison on it. The minotaur "melts" into a black goop, which then crawls across the floor and covers a nearby skeleton. It revives the person that the skeleton was, giving us another naked young woman.

At this point, the Paladin buys extra pairs of clothes to keep in his pack while we're dropping her off back at the castle.

Trip three: Mostly-naked Tiefling girl. We start to comment on how we're starting to see a theme.

Trip four: We found the princess! Mostly naked, her clothes ripped horribly. By the time we're back at the castle, we're discussing how many young naked girls we've found and whether mostly-naked actually counts.

Trip five: Naked and abused foreign woman. We give her clothes, telling her not to worry, this is what we're good at. By the time we get her out to the cart, even the NPCs are riffing on it... "Geez, boss, you found ANOTHER one?"

Every time we report in back at the castle, I make sure that my report specifically mentions how many girls we're up to.
Greenhornet 15th Oct 2017, 6:34 AM edit delete reply
We didn't have any riffing in any of the games I played in (a few snotty remarks, but no actual riffing) but there was one incident in a game when I was new to RPGs.
The DM had the group meet a very old sorcerer and although he ordinarily used his own voice for the NPCs, he tried to do different voices in this game. In this case, he used the Torgo voice, saying "I aM BAN-doR, tHe sOrcErEr."
The others lost it, one shouting "I take care of the place while the master is away!".
I didn't get the joke until I saw "Manos" The Hands Of Fate on an MST3K disk years later.
Robin Bobcat 15th Oct 2017, 3:33 PM edit delete reply
. . . I think your GM may have some issues.

Had heard of one campaign where ALL the treasure was in the form of 'naked, bound, half-elf girls'.

But yeah, always carry a spare cloak at least. Never know.
TheStevest 14th Oct 2017, 1:32 PM edit delete reply
Only after the first panel I realized that this whole thing is Fifty Shades of Blue...blood. At least close enough for me.
Which prompts the question whether Blueblood has a room with crops, saddles, bits and other horse tacks or not.
Guest 14th Oct 2017, 4:44 PM edit delete reply
never mind him, half the time Rarity's got it out on display in her shop.
Cliff Robotnik 15th Oct 2017, 8:08 AM edit delete reply
Guest the has a point.

Gotta remember in a word if horses such things probably have severely altered cultural meaning, including in dirtier circles.

Also gotta remember that this is a nation that is collectible nude MOST of the time, and no one so much as bats an eye.
TheStevest 15th Oct 2017, 2:37 PM edit delete reply

I always forget that this a world of nudists...

But why would they wear clothes sometimes? If nobody cares whether they wear any clothes, why bother making them? Is it just like another piece of make-up? Is armor in a pony RPG more expensive, because the players are not required to buy clothes, or do they just get less money to buy some?
Robin Bobcat 15th Oct 2017, 3:34 PM edit delete reply
Well, most games you start with clothing befitting your station and profession for free. For ponies that's not much beyond maybe an apron or the like.
aerion111 15th Oct 2017, 4:44 PM edit delete reply
Well, I mean, it's not so much the world as just Ponyville.
Why Rarity set up shop in Equestria's nudist colony, we'll never know, but Canterlot, Appleloosa, etcetera, all generally wear some clothes.
TheStevest 16th Oct 2017, 7:10 AM edit delete reply
Good thing that she steals for a living. Otherwise she would have to close her shop.

It is also a good thing that the authorities do not question how she keeps open a clothes shop in a nudist colony.
Hariman 16th Oct 2017, 11:07 PM edit delete reply
...If you can convince people in a nudist colony to wear clothes, you can sell fashion anywhere!
Digo 14th Oct 2017, 3:24 PM edit delete reply
This feels so much like local group. I'd be AJ and my best friend is Dash. Haha, great times.
PumpkingKnight 15th Oct 2017, 9:47 AM edit delete reply
I didn't expect him to be so melodramatic.
Also, this is the second love interest the DM has given Rarity. I wonder if that's important
Rokas 15th Oct 2017, 5:01 PM edit delete reply
This riffing in real-time seems kind of disrespectful. I mean, really? There's an RP moment going on and you're interrupting it with your disparaging color commentary?

MST3k was funny, but does everything have to be like that? And at least they were riffing on movies; their talk wouldn't interrupt the actors. But when you're doing it to people while they're actually trying to have a bit of RP moment, aren't you interrupting it and making it all about you?

Seems a rather crappy thing to do to your fellow players and/or GM.
Jennifer 16th Oct 2017, 5:25 AM edit delete reply
Think of it as a variety of table chatter. Every group does it, this one just leans towards cynicism.
Raven 16th Oct 2017, 5:51 PM Huh edit delete reply
You know, if he did do it as he says than he is a stalker. hat logic they are as well since this entire plan involves stalking the Prince and trying to trick him into liking someone. Well, before this point I mean.

It's the Ciiiirle of Salkers!