Page 981 - Rigged Spontaneity

2nd Nov 2017, 6:00 AM in The Best Night Ever, Part 1
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Rigged Spontaneity
Average Rating: 5 (2 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 2nd Nov 2017, 6:00 AM edit delete
Scrapped lines:
Applejack: She's a barbarian, not a romantic.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah!! Wait... is that bad?

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: January 27th, 2023.



ANW 2nd Nov 2017, 6:17 AM edit delete reply
Turns out, today is the last day of The Day of the Dead.
So for today's story, the Grim Reaper and other death symbols.
(Try not to go too far please, Big Brother Newbiespud is watching)
Winged Cat 2nd Nov 2017, 1:53 PM edit delete reply
Winged Cat
On a certain chat I'm in, of late we have been exploring death stories. One person suggested a story where everyone dies in the beginning - but we found that this makes continuing the story impossible, without ghosts (which are a type of life) or resurrection or something. Even if you just write about the corpses decaying, that's still a story of life - of the bacteria et al making that decay happen.

Death is stasis, and stories are change. In a way, stories are life.
CCC 3rd Nov 2017, 12:08 AM edit delete reply
No, no, no, such a story is quite possible. All you is... you describe the setting, and where the bodies were found. Consider:


The first bodies that one found, if one were to approach from the south, were a couple of changeling sentries that had been flying a small distance away from the Hive. They lay there, amidst the dead branches where they fell, their chitin unblemished, looking almost asleep. If one were to approach closer, not that anypony ever did, one would be able to find three more bodies before reaching the Hive proper. One had a crack in the chitin on the left side, where it had struck a rock in its fall. The rest were unblemished.

When one reached the Hive - which, again, no-one ever did - one would notice several bodies. Changelings who had been on the outside of the Hive when they died, their bodies now piled up in a rough circle around the outside.

If one were to enter the Hive - which, again, no-one ever did - one would find the passages clogged with bodies. The Hive itself is dead, no longer moving and changing, many doors stuck half-open or half-closed.

But if someone had been there, and had been patient, someone could have moved the bodies out the way, lit up a horn or carried some fireflies, and moved on in.

It would be a depressing expedition. Perhaps an archaeologist might try it, one who wanted to know how this extinct species had once lived. And had one been willing to do so, he would have found plentiful clues - for almost all the changelings had died at their jobs, the larvae in their nursery, the guards at their posts, the cooks at the side of cauldrons now filled with no more than rotted gunk.

And, in one deepest, most central room, he would have found the only changeling to display a wound. She is the biggest of them all, the Queen; though identification is difficult, for her entire head is missing - everything between halfway up her neck and the tip of her horn, which can be found embedded in the roof.

There are two changeling guards as well, and one changeling nurse. All dead, all unmarked. There are no other bodies in this room.

But there is one other feature; a pattern of something, splattered all over the wall. There are gaps in this pattern, which take recognisable shapes.

The shapes of two changeling guards, standing at attention. The shape of a changeling nurse, cringing at some reprimand.

And the shape of an alicorn baby with oversized wings.


There we go. A story, without a single live creature anywhere.
Masterweaver 2nd Nov 2017, 6:19 AM edit delete reply
Makes perfect sense to me.
Digo Dragon 2nd Nov 2017, 6:38 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
Shipping is serious business. :3

Anytime someone gets hooked up with another, the rest of the party gotta check this suitor for all sorts of compatibility issues.
Rokas 2nd Nov 2017, 7:12 AM edit delete reply
Yeah, like if he/she is a lich. That'd be all kinds of awkward.
Classic Steve 2nd Nov 2017, 7:18 AM edit delete reply
"I said I wanted a *rich* man...."
Digo Dragon 2nd Nov 2017, 10:34 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
I know from RP experience that level of awkwardness! ^__^
Evilbob 2nd Nov 2017, 9:33 AM edit delete reply
Yeah. Marriage is a family affair, donchaknow? And the party members are closer than family! And like that awkward, annoying uncle, sometimes you'd rather not.
PumpkingKnight 2nd Nov 2017, 7:40 AM edit delete reply
Clever girl, Rainbow
redwings1340 2nd Nov 2017, 9:51 AM edit delete reply
This is the benefits of having a character a little off center, because they can come up with plans like this and have it feel pretty natural. Any stories about the craziest distractions you've ever been a part of in D+D games?

I once had a character stage a loud macarena dance party in front of a castle for a period of several days, nonstop, in an attempt to lure the local king or his guards outside, as well as be extremely annoying.
evileeyore 2nd Nov 2017, 10:17 AM edit delete reply
Had a Dwarven Barbarian who was unarmored fighting a 'duel' (against three foes to the death) in court once as a distraction for the rest of the party. During the fight his shirt was ripped, so he tore it off and keep fighting. Then his pants were ripped so he tore them off and kept fighting. By the end of the fight he was naked and covered in cuts and blood, but victorious.

And since the party still needed a distraction he remained naked as he mingled with now rather 'shocked' court (of course allowing the ladies to tend to his wounds 'waggles eyebrows').
Winged Cat 2nd Nov 2017, 2:01 PM edit delete reply
Winged Cat
Plenty, but if you're going to limit it to D&D games...

So at this convention oneshot, I was playing a sorceress without much useful for how the combat had evolved: we were fighting a big monster immune to most of the sorceress's spells. So I cast Lighting.

DM: "Did you say lightning?" searches notes

Me: "No, Lighting. I'm going to blind that sucker, with a ball of light bigger than its head."

The monster not having significant other senses, and my sorceress being able to move the light ball to keep up with its head's movements, the rest of the party suddenly had a much easier time.
hariman 2nd Nov 2017, 7:19 PM edit delete reply
Winged Cat, I've had fun like that too.

When I was playing a Sorcerer in Living Grayhawk/3.5 D&D, I actually got more mileage out of Grease, See Invisibility, Wall of Ice, Fly and the feat Elemental Substitution: Acid than I did out of the flashier damage and debuff spells.

Grease got especially hilarious/useful, for the sheer number of times I dropped an armored enemy on their arse, and made them easier to hit.

I'm also willing to argue that See Invisibility saved the party at least once, from an invisible Imp Assassin, who only I could see. I spent a lot of rounds in that fight running directly underneath that Imp to show the barbarian where to aim!

Fly literally made getting into and out of certain missions for the party a breeze.

And Elemental Substitution: Acid was a godsend when we were walking underwater in some caves, and it made my fireballs reliable against the enemies, instead of ineffective if I rolled low on a spellcraft check.
Matiekay_13 2nd Nov 2017, 7:37 PM We had a little Tribble dealing with them edit delete reply
A friend and I once concluded a text RP boss fight by using a telepathic broadcaster on a Tribble. The enemies were all subdued by having happy Tribble purring beamed directly into their heads. It was hilarious! ^_^
Quill Penn 3rd Nov 2017, 10:37 PM edit delete reply
Quill Penn
I wasn't even at the table for this one! I hadn't been going lately because of a temp job.
The game was a steampunk Pathfinder Game and I was playing a gnome sorcerer with a draconcic bloodline. Meaning I could summon Dragon Claws as a natural weapon.
I'm on break at work and I get a call from Orion, who was basically the De Facto leader of our little rebel group of players.

Orion:Can we fire your Gnome out of a cannon?
Me: Huh?
Orion: We're up against this airship and you're Dragon Claws would be a great way to tear into the sails and slow it down okay? Just make sure you have a way to reel me back in.

It wasn't until I got back a couple weeks later that I found out the whole thing was to keep the sailors busy while the rest of the team boarded a skiff and snuck onto the ship from the other side and take anything that so much as LOOKED like it had some monetary value!
Fricken' Pirates...
evileeyore 2nd Nov 2017, 10:12 AM edit delete reply
"S-Shut up!"

Wait, Rainbow dash is embarrassed by the idea that she's thinking along (obliquely/semi) romantic lines?

I think this avenue has potential for the GM to exploit.
aerion111 2nd Nov 2017, 11:02 AM edit delete reply
Eh, seems more she's emberassed about mentioning them 'mating'.
It's a bit weird to say 'I wanna see if he'll give my friend strong children', yaknow? :P
Not entirely unheard of, especially when you add another layer of thin euphemism, but not the usual thing to focus on.
Winged Cat 2nd Nov 2017, 2:06 PM edit delete reply
Winged Cat
I think evileeyore has got it. And if Fluttershy's player (wanting all the best for Dash's) conspires with the DM to set Dash up with a strong mate...well, Applejack is strong of body, and Twilight strong of mind...can Rarity and Pinkie Pie deduce what's going on in time to salvage the (respectively) drama and chaos, or will they give into temptation and revel in it?
Hariman 2nd Nov 2017, 7:27 PM edit delete reply
I think it's more that the DM seems like he's ribbing her of the choice of the word "mate", instead of husband.

Because "mate" is being taken as a little less than civilized here, I think. ;p
Aeshdan 4th Nov 2017, 4:27 PM edit delete reply
Yeah, "mate" is generally not used to refer to humans or other sapients.